Good morning Mom!  / Donna (daughter)
hey mom how are things up there in that beautiful place we call Heaven and you call home?  I was going to go to your site yesterday and clean it and put some Thanksgiving things but couldnt bring myself to do it but I will before next week dont worry!! I know I made a promise to always go and make sure its nice for you but I didnt realize how painful it was going to be as oppose to comforting as in the beginning of this journey.  Mom I have decided that I really need to watch my health and be around to see my great grandkids.  I want them to know me.  Hey what do you think about Steven when I say where is vovo he looks at your pic... 10 months old - amazing huh mom?   I know you look down at these kids and smile all the time I know you play with them.   I keep playing over memories in my head of growing up and also of the most recent years with you just because Im afraid of forgetting. I hope I never forget mom :(... R U doing ok? R U happy?  can you send some signs.. so what do you think about me heidi and kim going to the gym and losing weight :)... well i have alot to live for and mom our heart history in this family isnt too great - when I think that i lost both my parents by their age of 65 its scary to me.  I cant leave my kids and grandkids just yet I need for them to say wow my grandma lived a long healthy life>  well everyone is doing ok as you know. well except for dad but you know that story..... I love and miss you so much mom!  as the holidays are approaching give us all strength ok?  xxxoooo Close

Happy Halloween Eve mom  / Donna (daughter)

hi mom well you must be excited to see the kids tomorrow huh?  wow you lovedddd halloween.. for so many eyars i have been dressing up and you would sit every year and just wait for us.  Sometimes I would come to your door alone so you would suspect it was me lol.. rememver when i was a bag lady?? lol omg you were a riot with that one.  You know i love this holiday for the kids :)... rmeember PAL haunted house lol well i am forever traumatized.  I cant wait to see what steven is going to be mom is this how you were sitting waiting for your grandkids to come dressed up?  they are soo cute huh?  as you know still same stuff going on down here the economy sux and working sux and paying bills sux but hey what can we do right?  Mom i know you will be with us tomorrow nite and ifyou want to send a sign be my guess..  I am wathching a show about orbs but my pics are more convincing than theirs lol... well i love you mom and remember be with us tomorrow night ;)...

 

love you and happy halloween ::)))))

xxxooo

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its been awhile  / Donna (daughter)
Hi mom I know its been awhile but when i come on here the pain is soo hard and then i cry and all the emotions come out yes its good to chanell those emotions but sometimes its draining :(... i think i am trying to surpress the fact that your not here with us its over 4 yrs and the only thing we now have is memories dont get me wrong i love memories but i want more than that mom. ;( mom the whole thing with Jr smoking is really really bothering me everyday i smell the cig smoke i think how could someone who knows who i lost from smoking continue to smoke but mom he quit for 8 yrs and you know what i cant take losing another person because of smoking. Do you ever regret the fact that you continued to smoke and it eventually took your life. I know you used to say hey if im gonna die i might as well be happy but we are not mom. We are not left here to be happy that our mom is not here with us. Im sorry mom i know you have no pain and sadness and that is not why im writing i just needed to get it out because keeping it inside is not healthy. well as you know watching greys anatomy the other night and the lady being interbated just bought back alot of pain and its been here since mom guess i just have to shake it huh? hey how about steven's 1st birthday coming up huh? wow time flies mom i wish so bad he could have met you :(. mom some days are just worse than others ;(.. i miss you and know we will see each other again but until then please please keep visiting us whether in our dreams or as signs ok? I love you mom and just wish i would have told you more often. Good nite my angel goodnite :) Close

I miss you so much mom!!!!!  / Kimberly Carrelas (daughter)
Hi mom i know i havent been on in along time but its very hard 1 not having internet and two just so hard just as going to your resting place i know you have alot oif friends up there if you see tony cabral (lolas) husband tell him we miss him and love him and to send a sign to lola also tony paz andys other uncle tell him to go to his wife and send her a sign i love you and miss you so much so many deaths this last year its unbelieveable I love you nad miss you mom with all my heart i hope you come to our dreams i need a strong memory love you always and forever yoiur little girl Kimmy Close

Thinking about you now and everyday  / Donna Pacheco (Neice)

Aunt Ruth

  It's me. I think this is the second time I wrote to you.  I just read the stories from your girls.  You would be so proud of them they are wonderful grandmothers. They cherish their grandchildren with all there heart. I went to Mike's birthday party at Donna's house. It was raining so hard that day but she pulled it off.   You know Aunt Ruthy there is always a white butterfly around me. I say she is watching over me.  I have been going through different things with doctors and therapist. You know that's not me. I am asking you my angel can you come with me Monday to have a test done again. It is probably nothing but is will help me to know I have an angel with me. I remember you sitting at my table talking about different test from the doctors and you would say I am never going for that. I have nothing. Well Aunt Ruthy you never know. I know you will be with me on Monday and everything is going to turn out ok.

Love Neice Donna

 

 

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hey a sign would be nice mom!!  / Donna (daughter)
well today was heathers bday were you around her... im sure you were with her and steven at their lil picnic :)...mom as a mom I am so proud of her. She is a wonderful daughter and mom ;)... so hows things with you mom? been busy down here with parties and stuff so that is good but tonight wanted to stop in and say hello!! i know i know i can say hello anywhere but sometimes i feel the need to come on here and visit :(.... weather is realy nice right now not hot not cold... we are preapring for fall entering another winter without you mom. .... i am going to try and upload pics of the kids again i dont know whats wrong with the site with uploading.. well gonna go to bed so talk to you soon!! I love you mom! xxx000
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well its over mom!!  / Donna (daughter)

hey mom  well its over we did it I know one day you will bump into him (John) maybe he'll tell you why he never bothered with us and just walked by us and gave a stranger more attention.  I understand why God wants us to forgive and am trying mom I know I released alot of feelings at the service and feel good about it I do feel bad for annmarie and the boys as they are suffering the loss of a relationship as we did for you but it is hard as well because we had to put our memories to rest with him :(... future memories for sure but you know me i love to keep my childhood memories alive and that I do and for what its worth you both did give us a great childhood mom you were both great parents to us growing up. Me and Heidi moreso than the others because we were older and he was around more with us and that is unfortuante for the others I would only wish they could have happier memories of him as we do but it is what it is and all our good and recent happy memoreis are with you and we thank you for that mom...  It was hard to see our aunts and uncles suffering a loss of their brother especially being their oldest brother I know growing up he was like a father to them.  Hey do you know why his anniversary date ended up the day after yours???  is that coincidence??  idk mom that just weirded me out big time :(... mom I wish soooo hard sometimes that you can cme to my dreams and we can just sit and talk about everything that has happend so far in the last 4 yrs between your death the house fire colbys and brady passing the babies that have been born my grandson :)Heahters wedding our father's passing just so many things happening in 4 yrs mom... well gonna go for now  I love you mom!!!! xx00

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TO ALL RUTHS CHILDREN  / Diane Gonsalves (A DEAR FRIEND )
sending my condolences 2 all of ruths childrenfor the loss of their Fathereven though you didnt have a close bond with him yes i know it still hurts he was still ur dad try and find it in ur heart 2 forgive him dont let it eat away at you anymore you can forgive but you will never forget now he has 2 answer 2 the man upstairs and the man upstairs is very forgiving. Stay strong and GOD BLESS8 Close

well we lost both parents mom  / Donna (daughter)

so mom im sure you know by now that John (our father) past away today do you believe itMom its so hard to lose people in your family even if there is no releationship there its because its part of your past that will no longer be your future.  I would have never thought that I would be parentless by the age of 45???  I miss you mom soo much i miss talking laughing depending just oh so much mom.  I know the pain that Ann marie and her kids will be feeling the loss mom the loss we have for you they will have for him and i know that pain hurts like hell..  why did there become a separation of a father and his children what did we ever do wrong??? idk its a whole other family that we never shared the one thing that I am greatful to him is that you and he gave me my brothers and sisters and our children..and for that I am greatful mom i wish that life had no hurts and only happiness but unfortunately it doesnt I know that these tears cant stop flowing mom but its not because of the relationship that he and I wont ever have again because we havnt had it for years and years but when both your parents are gone its a strange thing.... i think there are unanswered questions too like why didnt he care about us anymore and why he stopped being a dad and why didnt he ck on us after losing you he knew you were our caretaker our mother are best friiend our provider didnt he at least care enough to see how we were hurting??? i think these are the things that make me angry they make me sad we have no answeres and now we never will.. He would walk by us at the park as we would he so do two wrongs make right > no?  well if you see him up there can you find out why he didnt want us in his life?  One thing I would never ever ever do mom is turn my back on my children just like you never did mom when john was geting into trouble and the problems he gave you you never quit you never gave up.. when i got pregnant young you didnt turn your back on me mom you were there for me with all my crazy questions like heater is with me lol..  you migh thave turned on some tough love at times but you were always there for us mom... just come to my dreams so we can talk? please ????   I love you mom!!!!  

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hi mom  / Donna (daughter)

hi mom i came on before and tried to talk but got to emotional as you know.. so im trying again. did you like the party for dad and frank we pulled it off! we wish you were with us of course as we do always!!!  Mom as always i love and miss you and wish you were here!!  What you think about these precious babies huh? they are all sooo adorable wish they knew you but as they grow up we will share our memories with them...

 

Love you

 

Donna

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Hi Vovo  / Heather (granddaughter)
Well I never come on anymore its too sad for me and too hard for me but I am having a really bad night :( I just heard a song and it made me just so sad and so mad that your not here I had to go to a wake last night and it brought back so many memories of this time 4 yrs ago I try soo hard to get that stupid day out of my head but I just cant I still have the pain in my heart to this day just like I had that  day.  I wish soooo bad that you were here to meet Steven he is the love of my life He brings me soo much joy.  There are so many times that he does stuff and I say wow if Vovo was here she would get a kick out of him.  I just remember soo many talks with you and you always gave me advice about life and relationships and whatever I needed and now your not even here to see how my life is turning out and I know its not your fault but I am soooo mad about that :(((( I just must sound so selfish because your happy in heaven and your healthy and thats what I want for you but I just cant believe your not here with us. I still remember the last time I was with you so clear and if I only knew it was the last time I would ever see you I could have told you just how much you mean to me and how you made an impact to my life.  OMG this hurts soo much to come on here and talk to you.  I wish sooo bad tha you can somehow come to me and let me know that you love me and that you know how much I love you and how much I appreciate you and miss you.  Just because I never come on here doesnt mean that I dont think about you because not a day goes by that I dont think about you and I hope you know that.  Please please always watch over my baby boy Steven. Hes such a good little boy vovo I have soo much fun with him I cannot even imagine life without him. Hes sooo cute huh? Man I wish you were here for him.  Tomorrow is the 50s party so hopefully we can have fun because we know you would want that.  I feel better that  I let out some of my anger and sadness but I am sure tomorrow and the day after  will be tough.  I know we shouldnt dwell on the day you passed and we should remember the days of your life but whenever it rains real hard and I am driving I think of that morning so how am I supposed to forget it on that day. I wish I could vovo I really do.  Please send grandpa a sign for his birthday becuase its hard for him to not have you here I love you sooo much Vovo xoxoxo Close

hey mom!!!  / Donna (daughter)
hi ma whats going on up there? are you still watching over us all i hope so. It seems to get harder the longer apart we are.. I have to keep my memories of you everyday because im afraid that I will forget? I am afraid i will forget your voice the way you pronounced words or some of your quirky things you did... it has been more difficult to talk about you mom cuz i want to talk to you in a 2 way conversation... you see your newest great grandaughter jaylah>? she is so beautiful Heidi is so blessed with these grandkids. I feel like you were cheated of so many more memories and we were cheated as well.... I will forever say it wasnt and isnt fair... :(... well you know Im doing my annual party this weekend 50's theme lol... i know you would have a ball i hope you are partying with us ok? twist chacha whatever you feel like doing just do ok?? Mom i know your good up there and everyone is taking care of one another as we are doing down here but things are kinda shitty for everyone here mom as you know some down and out of work others just down and out :(... we work so many hours and have no enjoyment or should i say hardly any enjoyment!! well I just had a feeling to stop and talk a little to you mom I need a visit ok? Just somehow remind me your here with us ok? I have tried many times putting new pics on I will try again... I love you mom!! Close

good morning!  / Donna (daughter)
hey ma good morning! did you hear and see us talking about you last night when i went with rosie and aunt jeanie to pick up makayla on fourth st alot of memories came back alot of good memories when we were kids and you guys would be playing cards and us kids were hanging out of course it wasnt like it is today but it was cool all the cousins hanging together every weekend sort of what our kids do now on fridays.... will that end? will it end like ours did with our cousins... I know that as they get older they too will have busy lives but i hope not too busy that they dont spend time together as we all do now.... then aunt jeannie was telling me how one time you two were driving and a bee flew in the car and you threw the car in park in the middle of the road and and she had to kill the bee before you got back in... and then i told of when the bee went into your wig... lol and you whpped it off right at the baseball field lol good thing the bee didnt fly into your bra lol.... its nice to remember stories and go down memory lane ... did you visit dad yesterday? i know it was your anniversary and i know it was hard for him and Im glad he was with us playing cards last night and he wasnt drinking...  i know too him it was hard because of not having you here with him but I know it was better for him to have you the time that he did that to not have you at all mom.... well you know Im planning the 50's party ;) that is def keeping my mind occupied but when me and heidi went to the meeting the other night i couldnt help but cry because of talking about this grief and because that lady that was there that lost her 2 sisters 3 mo apart from each other... mom the tears are building up just thinking of having to ever go through this again with anyone.  I have been thinking lately wow its 4 yrs and so much has happend and you were not here to talk about it mom the two biggest most special days to me heathers wedding and birth of my grandson and you were not here for me to share the joy and pride with... although i do know how proud you were of heather and I know she knows too.... eveyrone is missing you mom i know you know that.  we went to see john yesterday he is doing really good mom.  on the way home the sky was soo peaceful and beautiful and me and heidi was talking about you and i was thinking as i was looking up where else other than here would i want you to be... omg it has to be beatuful and peaceful and that is what we would all want for you... well gonna go to the apt then maybe so swimming at heathers pool and see my padunka dunka i know you laugh when i say that lol.. ttyl..... i love you mom and know one day we will all be sitting around a table again... xxx000 Close

hi mom  / Donna (daughter)
well mom we had frca this weekend... its so not the same without you here :( of course they down sized it and no more parade i could finally get to keep tradition going by taking my grandson like you always did but...once again city cutbacks... mom you really are lucky to be there and not here its soo sad here.  The recession is effecting so many people including us :(... when is it gonna give huh? so you see John our sperm donor was at frca how ballsy is that he can walk right in front of us swinging his grandson from his family why would a person intentionally want to hurt the feelings of their own children? i dont get it mom... he is such a jerkoff (go ahead laugh).... i really dont care that he doenst make effort to talk but do you have to walk in front of your (biological) grandkids and show off like your this great grandfather omg give me a friggin break.. but i will say that once again it pisses me off that a parent of 6 kids 8 grandkids and 3 great is missing yet this one walks around this earth... argghhhh... I know you and dads anniversary is approaching send some signs ok.. we have been getting all the butterfly signs so keep them coming and that sign for Heather amazing mom thats what i say is amazing.  Everyday i miss talking to you still and forever will.  So steven went to the fireworks last night yep his first omg i feel like im talking to you about a stranger because you dont know him :(...now its making me cry - mom its a hard month this month  I wish we could sleep and wake up in September :(... well gotta go to Lisa's baby shower how wonderful a couple that have been trying for a baby are having one... life!!!!!!  Love you mom please visit me soon!!! Close

to my beautiful wife  / Mike Hobbs (husband)
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WELL BAD MOMENT THIS A.M. MOM :(  / DONNA (DAUGHTER)
Hey mom   i was sitting on the porch with aj this morning and this song started playing when september ends and all of sudden the day came back to me that song was playing and so was because of you and i started to cry and aj was like do you want me to change it... but i have to face it right mom... but it was the same pain as it was back then i remembered all of it and played it in my head...why??? why does it come back so vivid... such a terrible memory mom..... well i have been on couple of times and no problems. i hope they fixed it mom. especially with your anniversary coming up again.  I sometiems wish that i will wake up one morning and this was all a very long dream and that you are telling me that the kids are sooo cute and that steven is sooo adorable wwith his lil dimples... well its starting to get warm down here mom how is it up there? very comfortable huh?  i cant wait till i can be back to normal lol.. yeah i said normal.  well gonna go do laundry something you dont have to worry about huh? lol.. well i hpe at least your wearing clothes .... hahhaha  ttyl i love and miss you mom!! Close

good morning mom  / Donna (daughter)

good morning mom i havent been on in awhile because the way the site wasnt working but i see dad has gotten on a few times so i figured i would try and i did... how are things up there?? things here are ok... im gonna try and put some of stevens pics up.. what do you think about him huh? iisnt he adorable.. i love him so much mom and i think wow if you loved us ( and i know you did )and your grand/great grandkids this much it must have been hard to leave...it must be hard looking down at the sadness we carry and that the kids not having a grandmother and greatgrandmother - there is so much you are missing out on that it angers me with God mom... we could all be hanging out iwth you in your backyard cuz so many of us having surgery and being off work temporary we could be enjoying more time with you... if we had known huh?  things here really suck we have decided to put the multi family on the market soon as its causing nothing my stress to me and jr... we are getting to old to be playing mr ropers lol... anyway everyone is doing ok nice and healthy :) we are missing you like crazy and i we alwasy talk about you mom.. i never want anyone to forget about you and i want the lil ones to know who you were and why we love and miss you so much... now that i am home i have even more time to think about things and sometimes it brings me down because i think i should be spending it with you mom i miss you so much and not a day goes by that i am not talking about you or missing you ok? please know that we all do nothing is the same without you but we try and move foward like you would want us too and make the lil ones happy and smile... mom my grandson is so precious isnt he so many times i see george and john in him.. must be the mohawk girl he has at the top of his head lol...  john is doing ok all except worrying about kyle you know minor trouble but i am tryihng to help with that situation.  so im gonna go now remember i love you with all my heart and miss you tremendously..

 

xxx000 donna 

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to my loving wife  / Mike Hobbs (husband)
babe you must be so proud and happy of our family and our new great grandchildren they are so beautiful and you can see how happy donna is with little steve ya little lol. i hope you are happy we all miss you so much our hearts will never be the same now that you are gone i will never stop thinking of you and loving you my darling so goodnight sweetheart Close

hey vovo  / Shayna Carrelas (grandaughter)
hey vovo. i know your looking down on us. its funny because every time tyler sees a butterfly he always says shay its vovo. we love you and miss you sooo much love ya xoxo shayna Close